Training log? More like confessional booth.
I struggle at times with body acceptance. Really badly when I'm bad, then totally proud and borderline mega vanity at other times. I run the full gambit of harshe self judgement over the arc of a month. Fkn hormones.
I was a bigger girl all through my twenties. My walking weight was 25kg larger than I am now. On average I was 86kg. At my largest I was an impressive 103kg.
Even though I've maintained 62-65 generally for about 8 years now, I am still that bigger girl in so many parts of my brain.
So now when I gain 2kg randomly, depending on the hormonal timing I either
a) think I'm a lifting beast and that I own ALL the muscle and I'm pretty much a super hero OR
b) think I'm pretty much a glutenous whale and should probably just give up on everything. Even phone calls. Too fat. Can't talk.
So was last week.
I lifted fine but then got a flu or something special that saw me not train for 4 days. I also puffed up like a water balloon and cried a fair bit for no reason. Hormones.
Soooooo what happened this week? The flu lifted and I was like an inmate being released. I've trained 2-3 times a day since. Hahahaha. Balance? What is this balance you speak of?!
I must make up for ALL the training ever missed of all time. And must do it now!
So this week has been tabata training each morning. I even roped in a friend and tortured her with my mania. Thanks Dan N.
Solid 5-10 minutes of warm up followed by 5x tabata rounds with one minute in between each.
I like to stick to the same movement throughout one full tabata round.
I also lean toward structuring my 5 tabatas as follows:
These were all done at 8am with night training being solely BJJ for 3 hours per night. One Gi session. One no Gi session. 90 mins each.
The idea of the tabatas being that I don't feel them the next day but aiming to get really breathing hard throughout.
In the first day I lost that excess weight that almost broke my soul last week. Hormones and water got me confused and self loathing. I wonder if I'll ever stop being so damn sensitive....
Now I'm lower than comp day weight, looking crazy lean in the upper body and looking forward to being photographed next weekend by BlackBoxPhotography!
Bring it. x.